Archive for Mommyhood

I did…

.. have a few thoughts about a post for today. At almost 11pm, tired, frustrated and with the right arm hurting, all thoughts are lost in my head. Perhaps tomorrow, a night’s rest will help me remember the thoughts.

The weekend started very productive btw. I woke up early and had breakfast with the little one. Then I went to the market to do the weekly shopping, and got fresh fish! My sister was awake when I got home, so I dragged her to go walking with me. The weather was just right for walking, the sun was hiding behind clouds and there was soft, cold wind blowing. Walked for about 30 mins, not an easy feat, mind you. I usually give up in 20 mins hehe

My right arm has been hurting since Monday.  It didn’t hurt much early in the week, so I simply ignored it.  However, pain has been more pronounced since Friday morning.  I can’t even lift my wallet without feeling pain, which has always been  heavy, not with money bills but with coins! 😀  So dragged the Hubs to bring me to the clinic after lunch.  That trip to the clinic didn’t amount to much, the rehab doc already left for the day.  The on-duty doc saw me and just gave me referrals to see a rehab doc – next week!

Anyway…. Mama said that marriage is something you work on, hard.  And you just don’t get up, you pray for the marriage to work, pray harder for you to stay in the marriage.  It has been a day of short fuses for both me and the Hubs.  Just little things, that irritate and suck, big time.  Before I end my day, I pray for longer ropes… so short fuses won’t burn the house.  G’night!

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Maid to be

Filipinos living in the Philippines are said to be blessed because we can easily get help when we need them. I personally grew up with maids at home, even as much as 3 at a time, when it was just me and my Mother. Now are not rich, but we surely did live like we were rich, with maids at home. The maids were my playmates and my companions when Mama had to travel for seminars. When I was old enough to move to my own room, I had a Yaya sleep in the room with me. I even had a Yaya until I was in grade 6.

Since I got married, we had to get a maid. My husband and I work, so we need someone to look after the little one when we’re working. The first maid we had was my youngest sister’s Yaya, so I was used to her. She knew what I liked and got along well with the Hubby. Her husband was not pleased though coz we’re here in Laguna and her family is back home, in the province of Misamis Oriental, in Mindanao. After a year, she had to go home.

We got replacements quite easily, a mother and daughter tandem. I thought that it was necessary to have two, as the little one was growing up and work was piling up. It could get lonely too, so if there are 2 of them, it won’t be so bad. Unfortunately, we had a rough time adjusting to each other; the mother wasn’t much of a cook but was meticulous with cleaning and laundry. The daughter didn’t know much, but was patient with the boy. And there are other little things of course that just didn’t seem right with them. There was this one time that Hubby left his cell phone at home, when he arrived, there was a call made he didn’t make. When we asked them, it took the daughter awhile to admit it was her who made the call. There was also this time when money was left on top of the ref, which I simply left so they could bread for merienda. They said they didn’t know about it, but when the Hubby asked them again, they said they saw it on top of the ref. What irks me more is that they are not happy people, they are mostly sad. Perpetual sadness, that’s what I think. And I like seeing happy faces, smiling faces, light personality.

The list goes on. But they’re great with my boy, they love him so much. Before long, Hubs and I realized that we are at their mercy. If they decide to go pack-up and leave, we’d be doomed. As much as we hate to admit it, we need them. Mama used to say that great maids are hard to come by, now I believe her. My cousin had the most wonderful Yaya, but she had to leave when my niece was 4. The Yaya’s mother asked her to go work abroad to earn more, and she did, she’s now working in Singapore looking after a family with 3 kids.

And then last Xmas, our maids left for a 2-week vacation. We were told crazy to let them go in the Holidays when there is so much to do. But they were adamant to go home, so they left and promised to come back. The first few days of course were very hectic. I had to work from home during our peak season. Luckily, that worked fine. I would be with the little one the whole day, I got to work in between playing with him, cooking lunch (breakfast would be pancakes from Jollibee ), getting him to nap. When the Hubby is home, he would bring dinner or cook dinner. He’d take over watching our boy, while Mommy will work full time until about 12 am. So we got through the 2 weeks, with minimal mishap. We were fed, the little one’s clothes were washed, the kitchen sink was clean, and the bathroom was relatively clean. The house had scattered toys and little stuff everywhere though, but it was a livable house. It was a joy being together as a family, living together just us and proving that we could live without maids. Other cultures and communities have done so and are still doing so.

I wish we could afford not to have maids, I really do. Maybe we could just get one of those cleaning ladies or stay-out maids. They leave when we’re home. Maybe when the little one is older, perhaps we’ll try that. For now, the maids will need to stay.

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Back from the hiatus

I’m back from my so-called vacation.  But it was not entirely so.  We were so busy with the new business venture that there wasn’t time to do stuff.  Hubs and I did however, found time to be with each other.  No yayas and no work definitely for about 10 days.

We went home.  Salay is home to me.  Bugo is home to the hubs.  We also got the chance to spend time with my family and the hubs’.  Home is really where you are most comfortable.  I would imagine staying in Salay for good, growing old there, seeing bugoy grow up.  That would be ideal.  But that is not where we make our living.  Hopefully soon.  In 10 years perhaps? 🙂

I didn’t get to meet up with high school friends.  At the end of each day, I was too tired to drive to CDO and just have dinner.  My days are spent with my little one.  I’m constantly reminded that he’s growing up so quickly, he can communicate his feelings well.  We didn’t agree most of the time, but we had to because there was no yaya to run to.  It was wonderful 🙂

Now, I’m back in front of my desk.  Reading emails, discarding the unimportant ones.  Being on conference calls, multi-tasking.  I’m getting a headache as I type.  But this is life.  In fact, this has been my life for 10 years.  It isn’t always bad, it’s been fun actually.   It’s just that spending time with my kid and hubs are more fun and that should be my life, no?

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Tagged

been tagged by Kaith

Rule: List all the names you were called by and the people who call you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they’ve been tagged.

Girlie – Given by my Mom’s closest sister, coz she thought I was a very “girlie” baby.  All my cousins & relatives call me this.  My friends from back home also call me this, classmates and friends from grade school, high school and college too.

Girlash – A name from Girlie.  I think I started signing Girlash in High School, so my closest friends in High School and in UP call me Girlash.  This is my fav nickname 🙂

Gerlay – To my really really close friends.  And who can get away with calling me such 😀

Carina – A nick name I used when I started working.  Realized that Girlie might be too…. girlie 😛 So Carina it is.  Only friends/officemates call me by this.

Carins/Caring – Carins is what my closest friends at work call me.  Caring is a name my barkada when I started out at work call me and they still do.

Mommy  – to the Hubs and the Little boy.

Ate – To my parents and sisters.

Tagging Jerry, Chitgoks and Judisan.

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Days like these…

Days like these make we wish that I was a little girl.  Where I can always run to my Mom for anything and everything.  And then she’d pick me up and take care of anything and everything.

 

Days like these makes me long for slow, uncomplicated days.  Where I can spend the whole afternoon swimming by the beach, making sand castles and simply floating by.

 

Days like these makes me want to go grab my back pack and travel through the country side.  With just my thoughts, sun glasses and my hair in ponytails.

 

Days like these have me day dreaming of soft fluffy hotel bath robes, king size bed and cottony soft pillows.  Channel surfing, eating chips and sipping coke light.

 

Days like these I reminisce days spent with my son.  Tickling, reading, counting and singing songs.  Totally satisfied, fully blessed.

 

Days like these I remember sipping coffee, looking across the table and seeing my hub’s smiling, relaxed face.  Spending time, making time.  Being one.

 

Days like these I sometimes forget to breathe, as breathing is an effort.  And I don’t like effort, I just want to be still and for a brief moment, look on while life goes by without me.

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Weekend Awakening

We had a visitor last week and this the weekend.  My cousin R, on my Dad’s side, who’s leaving for Italy tomorrow to join her husband.  We grew up together, we were a batch of 6 cousins who did everything together when we were little.  But when I went to college in UP, I seldom went home and we just grew apart.  Until last week that is.  We spent the entire Saturday catching up on each other’s life, “tsismising” about other cousins and aunts.

 

She was able to spend one whole day at home, so she saw how the maid and the yaya were with my son.  And how my son is when they are alone at home.  I have complaints about little things that the Yaya and the maid do, like how I always have to tell them what to do, I keep repeating my instructions.  Or sometimes the maid acts like she’s owns our home, or even scolds my son when he doesn’t listen.  My cousin made me realized that though they’re not perfect, they’re good in some ways and mostly because they adore my son to bits.  For a mother, that’s the most important thing.  My son is safe with them, he won’t be hurt by them.  I have heard horror stories of kids being hurt by the yaya.  One officemate’s yaya pinches her daughter.  What an awful truth.

 

I’m pretty sure I would still get angry when they won’t follow what my exact instructions are.  I hope though, I would remember to be more tolerant. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Feeling blah

The past few days I’ve been feeling really down.  Perhaps because I’ve been dog tired from the trip and the work.  Also probably because it was my birthday and you know how birthdays always comes with a bit of depression.  Probably also because I haven’t gone back to the swing of things, I missed the bus from our village which goes straight to Makati for 3 straight days.  So I had to commute longer.  Sucks bigtime.  Probably also because of all these financial news this week – Lehman does the bankruptcy dance, ML on the brink of.  And I feel like I don’t get the support from my manager.

 

I hate feeling blah.  But I guess it’s quite normal.  I think I just need to do a bit of shopping to release this… depression.  Or I need a massage.  Or I need my girls for gossip and rant.  Or I need breathe some fresh air, see green (the ones that grow).   Whatever that is I need, I hope I get this soon.  I wanna crawl out of this cave, back to my sunny, happy self.

 

I do have a lot to be thankful for, I know that.  This is really just an episode.  A short one, I dearly hope.

 

Ok, remind myself about my blessings:

  1. I have a wonderful and funny husband.
  2. I have a sweet, healthy and happy little boy.
  3. I have my parents who love me and sisters who respect me.
  4. I have a job, Which lets me travel and gives me a lot of elbow room
  5. I have really nice new bag J
  6. I have really nice 2 sets of earrings
  7. I got flowers on my birthday J
  8. Got an unexpected gift from a cousin
  9. Had a chance to hang out with a favorite cousin in Singapore
  10.   Got lots of birthday greetings from family & friends

 

That should tide me over.

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